Had a really lovely day today :o) .... Praise God!! The meeting this morning was really lovely, Monica spoke really confidently and clearly and the message was clearly and blatantly from God. Elaine led the worship lovely as she always does cos she's a lovely beauty and me well I led the prayer time and that was a lovely time too hehehe well I would say that wouldn't I???? I learnt a lot this morning because quite a lot of stuff went on after the meeting that left me a bit out of my depth. One of the ladies was really upset and in need of an ear to listen and prayer, now I can listen and I can pray with anyone but I worry that I can't always give the best advice, Tony who is Elaines husband had already been chatting with her, I got Elaine to come and talk too and I just sat and kind of took mental notes and then we prayed. And then just as I was going to make a cuppa cos a cuppa is what we brits love when we have a crisis, Tony tells me that there is a woman sat on the wall opposite church that needs some food...Do I give her a bag of food? Do I give her some money to buy her own food? I don't have a flippin clue so I get my lovely friend Elaine (again) and ask her what to do as I don't know...So we go out together and chat to this woman on the wall, then I run back into church to make sure the other lady is being looked after,( which she is cos we have some really lovely people at our church) then go back out again and by this time Elaine has the complete story off this woman and has found out that she needs food that she can eat right now so its no good giving her a bag of tins etc..then Elaine asks the woman if its ok to pray with her and she says yep, so we all pray out on the street, it was pretty cool really....so yeah I learnt some stuff and its all good!!
Went round to Elaine and Tonys for a lovely roast dinner and then went for a walk with them and Monica and mark and little Mark up to Rivington Pike, it was lovely and we could see right over to Blackpool tower from the pike...we had a good laugh about witches up there cos apparently witches used to gather up there in the old days, in fact we laughed that much that Monica nearly had an accident hehehehe...its good to have lovely christian mates ty Jesus for my friends.
Scot informed me before I came home that we have a new pet thats got 8 legs and is black and hairy, lets just say that I won't be watching tv downstairs for a few weeks....aaaaagh
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Why not give God a chance??
Thought it might be a good idea to put my testimony on here since I don't actually have it wrote down anywhere else so here goes:
I started messing around with drugs when I was about 20 (1988) and started going to all night rave clubs, we would take anything, coke, speed, Es, trips etc, if it was a available we would have it. Carried on like this until 1992 when I found out I was pregnant to a lad called Scot that I had met in a club early in 1991. I loved him and we stayed together until just before I gave birth in Sept 1992, totally devastated when he said he wanted no part of our lives, but life went on. I stopped going out and spent all I had and all my time with my son. I had put a lot of weight on tho and was told the best way to lose weight was to take speed so I did, just a little bit every week. After about a year I had lost an awful lot of weight and was taking speed every other day just to feel normal, I had experienced the 'come down' off it and didn't want to go through that if I could help it so I carried on taking it, gradually I was having it every day just so that I could exist. By 1999 things were getting out of hand I had got myself into about £3000:00 worth of debt and was being threatened with eviction from my house. I wanted to die and was trying to think of the easiest way to do it! One Saturday morning I had to take my son to the local shopping centre with the daft idea to get as many painkillers as I could to end my life that evening, anyway my son wanted to put some money in some mans collecting box who was actually a SA officer, he gave me a warcry and a leaflet. I can't remember whether I read the leaflet at the shopping centre or at home I just remember reading the leaflet and the words on it said 'Why not give God a chance'!!! totally shocked and I just started to cry and then told my son that we would be going to church in the morning. That night was the first night that I didn't have any drugs in my body for ages and the first nights sleep all week.
I got up in the morning, got ready and walked to the Salvation Army, I was that nervous that I nearly walked straight past luckily though a lady walked in and I just followed quickly and sat at the back.. I was made to feel so welcome it was lovely. I loved it but I spent most of the time in tears for some reason. At the end Ian made an appeal for anyone who wanted to, to give themselves to Jesus I really wanted to do it but I thought Jesus wouldn't want someone who was a dirty drug user. 8 weeks passed and on the 5th December 1999 I went to church and thought to myself that when Ian asked people to come forward at the end then I would kneel at the mercy seat, but he didn't I was so upset. I spoke to Christine his wife at the end and told her that I wanted Jesus in my life, she took me somewhere quiet for a chat and after explaining to me that Jesus did love me and wanted me even though my life was a mess I prayed a prayer asking Jesus Christ into my life. What an amazing thing that moment was, when I walked home from church I felt like I floated up the road.
I wish I could say that life was great after that but it wasn't, in fact that same night that I got saved I went to my dealers house and got a big bag of speed, felt so bad and totally defeated but I felt I needed it. I knew and believed that I was saved from all this but I really struggled to get my head around the fact that Jesus could help me to stop taking the drugs. I must have done christines head in so many times, because I would manage to stop taking for a little while then I would have a relapse and go back and have some and then feel so bad, then I would be in church and be upset and tell Christine and she was so lovely and accepting and told me that I was loved so much and we prayed so much,but she told me that I had to make the choice myself to stop going back to the drugs, it was hard and even thinking about it now upsets me just how much I must have taken of her time etc.....I had to make the choice for myself tho and eventually I got it through my stupid head that I had to stop, and I did, it must have been about 6 months after getting saved that I stopped taking anything (it might have been longer or shorter I cant remember much from then) there is a lot more to my story and I will post more every now and again.
'MY SHACKLES HAVE GONE, MY SPIRIT IS FREE,
OH PRAISE THE LORD, HE RESCUED ME,
MY SINS ARE FORGIVEN, AND NOW I AM FREE,
OH PRAISE THE LORD, MY SHACKLES HAVE GONE,
MY SPIRIT IS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I started messing around with drugs when I was about 20 (1988) and started going to all night rave clubs, we would take anything, coke, speed, Es, trips etc, if it was a available we would have it. Carried on like this until 1992 when I found out I was pregnant to a lad called Scot that I had met in a club early in 1991. I loved him and we stayed together until just before I gave birth in Sept 1992, totally devastated when he said he wanted no part of our lives, but life went on. I stopped going out and spent all I had and all my time with my son. I had put a lot of weight on tho and was told the best way to lose weight was to take speed so I did, just a little bit every week. After about a year I had lost an awful lot of weight and was taking speed every other day just to feel normal, I had experienced the 'come down' off it and didn't want to go through that if I could help it so I carried on taking it, gradually I was having it every day just so that I could exist. By 1999 things were getting out of hand I had got myself into about £3000:00 worth of debt and was being threatened with eviction from my house. I wanted to die and was trying to think of the easiest way to do it! One Saturday morning I had to take my son to the local shopping centre with the daft idea to get as many painkillers as I could to end my life that evening, anyway my son wanted to put some money in some mans collecting box who was actually a SA officer, he gave me a warcry and a leaflet. I can't remember whether I read the leaflet at the shopping centre or at home I just remember reading the leaflet and the words on it said 'Why not give God a chance'!!! totally shocked and I just started to cry and then told my son that we would be going to church in the morning. That night was the first night that I didn't have any drugs in my body for ages and the first nights sleep all week.
I got up in the morning, got ready and walked to the Salvation Army, I was that nervous that I nearly walked straight past luckily though a lady walked in and I just followed quickly and sat at the back.. I was made to feel so welcome it was lovely. I loved it but I spent most of the time in tears for some reason. At the end Ian made an appeal for anyone who wanted to, to give themselves to Jesus I really wanted to do it but I thought Jesus wouldn't want someone who was a dirty drug user. 8 weeks passed and on the 5th December 1999 I went to church and thought to myself that when Ian asked people to come forward at the end then I would kneel at the mercy seat, but he didn't I was so upset. I spoke to Christine his wife at the end and told her that I wanted Jesus in my life, she took me somewhere quiet for a chat and after explaining to me that Jesus did love me and wanted me even though my life was a mess I prayed a prayer asking Jesus Christ into my life. What an amazing thing that moment was, when I walked home from church I felt like I floated up the road.
I wish I could say that life was great after that but it wasn't, in fact that same night that I got saved I went to my dealers house and got a big bag of speed, felt so bad and totally defeated but I felt I needed it. I knew and believed that I was saved from all this but I really struggled to get my head around the fact that Jesus could help me to stop taking the drugs. I must have done christines head in so many times, because I would manage to stop taking for a little while then I would have a relapse and go back and have some and then feel so bad, then I would be in church and be upset and tell Christine and she was so lovely and accepting and told me that I was loved so much and we prayed so much,but she told me that I had to make the choice myself to stop going back to the drugs, it was hard and even thinking about it now upsets me just how much I must have taken of her time etc.....I had to make the choice for myself tho and eventually I got it through my stupid head that I had to stop, and I did, it must have been about 6 months after getting saved that I stopped taking anything (it might have been longer or shorter I cant remember much from then) there is a lot more to my story and I will post more every now and again.
'MY SHACKLES HAVE GONE, MY SPIRIT IS FREE,
OH PRAISE THE LORD, HE RESCUED ME,
MY SINS ARE FORGIVEN, AND NOW I AM FREE,
OH PRAISE THE LORD, MY SHACKLES HAVE GONE,
MY SPIRIT IS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Our shackles have gone!!!!
Just sat here with my head mashed humming and haaaaing what to write about...so flipping tired but don't wanna sleep yet. My week has been really good even work has been good weird innit!! I started work at 5:45am yesterday and didn't finish until 8pm last night as we had an unexpected audit just as I was about to finish...we passed and we are all buzzing yayayayay. Monica, Elaine and me got together and sorted out songs for Sunday. I'm gonna lead the meeting, Elaines gonna do worship and Monica is going to give the message for the 1st time, we're all mates and we all love JESUS so it will be all for Him. Please pray for Monica that hairy legs won't get a sniff in anywhere..oh yeah just remembered something, Mark who is Monicas husband had a blinding moment from God on Sunday night as he was walking home after the footie. God really touched him and made himself real to Mark so if anyone is reading this would you pray and pray and pray that flippin hairy legs won't get a sniff in there either..some great things have been happening this week for Monica and Mark, God is so good and we give Him all the thanks and praise because we know its down to Him!!! yay thank you Jesus!!!
Joseph is meant to be coming to church on Sunday so prayers needed there too please. Worked with Joseph yesterday and he started singing a song we sang when he came to church, i was dead surprised that he remembered all the words and tune so we sang it together and ignored the weird looks hehehe
'My shackles are gone
My spirit is free
Oh praise the Lord
He lifted me'
My sins are forgiven
And now I am free
Oh praise the Lord
My shackles are gone
My spirit is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'.........thats what we sang
its an ace song, and when we sing it at church its usually unaccompanied and just everyone clappin and bangin tambourines, I bet God loves it.
I remembered the other day that on Sunday it was 6 years to the day that I was enrolled as a soldier. I can't believe how fast time goes..looking back over the 6 years makes me remember a lot of great times and how much I have matured as a christian but I also remember a lot of rubbish thats gone on and a lot of hard stuff that I had to deal with and then I realise that without learning to deal with the rubbish in my life then I wouldn't have matured and would have just stayed the same baby christian..thats what I think anyway. All my past and everything in it is UNDER THE BLOOD, might put my testimony on here sometime.
Joseph is meant to be coming to church on Sunday so prayers needed there too please. Worked with Joseph yesterday and he started singing a song we sang when he came to church, i was dead surprised that he remembered all the words and tune so we sang it together and ignored the weird looks hehehe
'My shackles are gone
My spirit is free
Oh praise the Lord
He lifted me'
My sins are forgiven
And now I am free
Oh praise the Lord
My shackles are gone
My spirit is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'.........thats what we sang
its an ace song, and when we sing it at church its usually unaccompanied and just everyone clappin and bangin tambourines, I bet God loves it.
I remembered the other day that on Sunday it was 6 years to the day that I was enrolled as a soldier. I can't believe how fast time goes..looking back over the 6 years makes me remember a lot of great times and how much I have matured as a christian but I also remember a lot of rubbish thats gone on and a lot of hard stuff that I had to deal with and then I realise that without learning to deal with the rubbish in my life then I wouldn't have matured and would have just stayed the same baby christian..thats what I think anyway. All my past and everything in it is UNDER THE BLOOD, might put my testimony on here sometime.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
The meeting went well this morning....I had a really bad stomach all last night and this morning, its nerves I think. Joseph didn't come to church, I rang him to see if he was awake and he was still in bed, I think he may have been called into work today too. Thanks for praying folks.
Lots of people missing this morning, it seems to be a pattern when I do the meeting lol..Am I bovvered??? not a bit..bring it on!!! ok well I am a bit bovvered but just a teeny weeny bit cos I spent about 4 days planning my meeting and so did Elaine who I'd asked to lead the worship, and I reckon God gave me something to say that was meant for all our church not half of it. A lady called Erica came today, she has popped in occasionally over the last 3 or 4 months, so it was really lovely to see her, said she is definitely coming next week so thankyou Jesus.
I have really riled myself this afternoon trying to get flikr on my blog..how is it that I can make something thats easy hard????? Anyway after a few hours and a bit of screaming at the walls I managed to do it and it can be seen on the right hand side of my blog, the pics will mainly be of my church and my lovely friends.
Scot has just gone to his dads until Friday night, so I will be having a lonely week this week...actually I think I have summat planned every night, and am working every day unfortunately...its a hard life innit.
Lots of people missing this morning, it seems to be a pattern when I do the meeting lol..Am I bovvered??? not a bit..bring it on!!! ok well I am a bit bovvered but just a teeny weeny bit cos I spent about 4 days planning my meeting and so did Elaine who I'd asked to lead the worship, and I reckon God gave me something to say that was meant for all our church not half of it. A lady called Erica came today, she has popped in occasionally over the last 3 or 4 months, so it was really lovely to see her, said she is definitely coming next week so thankyou Jesus.
I have really riled myself this afternoon trying to get flikr on my blog..how is it that I can make something thats easy hard????? Anyway after a few hours and a bit of screaming at the walls I managed to do it and it can be seen on the right hand side of my blog, the pics will mainly be of my church and my lovely friends.
Scot has just gone to his dads until Friday night, so I will be having a lonely week this week...actually I think I have summat planned every night, and am working every day unfortunately...its a hard life innit.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Work has been alright this week, I am managing to stay out of trouble by keeping my head down and just getting on with it..there have been times when I have nearly been sucked in tho. People just seem to want to tell me things that I don't want to hear and then wait for my opinion on it, well I'm not having it I am going to start putting my fingers in my ears, looking blank and walking off, I'll probably end up in a straight jacket hehe.
Last Saturday I posted that Joseph was going to come to church with me, well he did come and He really loved it, in fact I have just had a text to say he cant wait for church this week, how flippin ace is that!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to anyone who read the post and prayed, our God is a great big God innit. I am leading the meeting again tomorrow so tummy isn't good again. I am so nervous this week as Joseph will be there and Elaine and Tony. Elaine is leading the worship for me and with more than a lot of help from her we put the meeting plan together etc I love u beaut :o) My meeting is going to be about Worship...haven't finished the talk yet though. Leading the meeting again next week but Monica will be doing the message so that will be a bit less stress.
might post some more later on but for now I need to do some work on my talk.
Last Saturday I posted that Joseph was going to come to church with me, well he did come and He really loved it, in fact I have just had a text to say he cant wait for church this week, how flippin ace is that!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to anyone who read the post and prayed, our God is a great big God innit. I am leading the meeting again tomorrow so tummy isn't good again. I am so nervous this week as Joseph will be there and Elaine and Tony. Elaine is leading the worship for me and with more than a lot of help from her we put the meeting plan together etc I love u beaut :o) My meeting is going to be about Worship...haven't finished the talk yet though. Leading the meeting again next week but Monica will be doing the message so that will be a bit less stress.
might post some more later on but for now I need to do some work on my talk.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Went to town (Manchester) yesterday with Scot and Joe to see Brainiacs...it was really ood, Scot and I managed to get a T.Shirt each..Scot was so excited about this lol, he said he wouldn't sell it for a hundred quid, he is going to give the spare one to Ian to remind him about blowing caravans up. The city centre was absolutely hammered yesterday, I love it when its like that, people sat outside cafes and bars happy, people just generally looking like they are having a good time, its all good!!!
Talked to Joe about church and had a chat about how christians behave cos you know some of the time I am not the best example out there.....I am praying so hard for him, he is a lovely lad and just 20 with a bit of a messed up head at the moment..Jesus can and will sort that out I'm sure of it.
Hollybush has been on my mind most of the week as I've gone over and over in my head what God has burdened me with this year.....On the Tuesday night Richard Taylor read some of the letters out that he has received from prisoners who have read his book 'To catch a thief'...the letters were heartbreaking and I got upset about one in particular that was from a young woman, she had problems with drugs and had left her kids while she was inside etc..it was a really sad letter and I was struggling not to cry but couldn't help it...and then I'm sat there and I thought of my own brother who is a registered user and has spent quite a lot of time in prison, and I thought of my sister who was a user and was in prison and I realised that not once did I ever feel any compassion towards either of them, I never visited them once..how bad is that?I also find it difficult to share God with them, don't get me wrong I want to see everyone I know and don't know in heaven but I wish sometimes that God would find someone else to tell my family about Him.
So I've been thinking this week and was thinking at Hollybush that God is challenging me to spend more time with my sisters and brothers and let them see the difference in me, and tell them about Him and how he can change lives and do miracles. Easy to write but hard to do...I'll definitely need to rely on God cos I don't actually like some of my family that much. Need God to change me.
Enough waffling..I need a cuppa.
Talked to Joe about church and had a chat about how christians behave cos you know some of the time I am not the best example out there.....I am praying so hard for him, he is a lovely lad and just 20 with a bit of a messed up head at the moment..Jesus can and will sort that out I'm sure of it.
Hollybush has been on my mind most of the week as I've gone over and over in my head what God has burdened me with this year.....On the Tuesday night Richard Taylor read some of the letters out that he has received from prisoners who have read his book 'To catch a thief'...the letters were heartbreaking and I got upset about one in particular that was from a young woman, she had problems with drugs and had left her kids while she was inside etc..it was a really sad letter and I was struggling not to cry but couldn't help it...and then I'm sat there and I thought of my own brother who is a registered user and has spent quite a lot of time in prison, and I thought of my sister who was a user and was in prison and I realised that not once did I ever feel any compassion towards either of them, I never visited them once..how bad is that?I also find it difficult to share God with them, don't get me wrong I want to see everyone I know and don't know in heaven but I wish sometimes that God would find someone else to tell my family about Him.
So I've been thinking this week and was thinking at Hollybush that God is challenging me to spend more time with my sisters and brothers and let them see the difference in me, and tell them about Him and how he can change lives and do miracles. Easy to write but hard to do...I'll definitely need to rely on God cos I don't actually like some of my family that much. Need God to change me.
Enough waffling..I need a cuppa.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Work.blah blah and blah
work work work = moan moan moan................I have had one of the hardest weeks mentally that I have had for ages this week...there is too much gossiping/backstabbing going on..I feel so let down by people and it hurts a lot..I should have been ready for a bit of agro since I got back from Hollybush. I led the meeting on Sunday and am about to lead another 2 meetings....I just got caught off guard with it all this week and let hairy legs have a go!!! Its so hard being the only christian at work..that sounds like I'm really soft but I"m not and most of the time I love the challenge and love being different but sometimes it gets flippin hard. I have talked things thru with my mates from church and that devil is back where he belongs UNDER MY FEET!! GET OUT OF MY WAY AND OUT OF MY DAY!!!! (Elaine sent that to me in a text a while ago)
Scot went to spend the week at his dads on Sunday night and came home last night yay yay...don't realise how much I miss him until he aint there. We're going to the science and industry museum today as there's a sky festival on all weekend in Manchester and they are filming Brainiacs:science abuse at the museum..lots of fun.
Got a text off my friend Joseph last night asking could he please come to church...how amazing is God..He was meant to come a few weeks ago but called off so I am asking anyone that reads this to pray hard for Joseph....He was bought up a roman catholic and I'm sure that coming to our church will be so different than being in a mass, I haven't said anything to him about that..I'm not sure if I should or not...anyway pray pray pray and then pray some more.
Scot went to spend the week at his dads on Sunday night and came home last night yay yay...don't realise how much I miss him until he aint there. We're going to the science and industry museum today as there's a sky festival on all weekend in Manchester and they are filming Brainiacs:science abuse at the museum..lots of fun.
Got a text off my friend Joseph last night asking could he please come to church...how amazing is God..He was meant to come a few weeks ago but called off so I am asking anyone that reads this to pray hard for Joseph....He was bought up a roman catholic and I'm sure that coming to our church will be so different than being in a mass, I haven't said anything to him about that..I'm not sure if I should or not...anyway pray pray pray and then pray some more.
Monday, August 07, 2006
uggghhhhhh
That flippin low fat rice pudding was mingin.......neeeeeeeeeeed lovely full fat/full cream/full sugar cakes sob sob sob
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Back
Back from a wonderful week at Hollybush camp.
We had such an ace time..I don't really know where to begin writing it all down...the fellowship with all my lovely friends was lovely..the Bible studies/worship and evening celebrations were awesome, I was challenged constantly throughout the week by God regarding all areas of my life...I was hoping that maybe I would get some kind of revelation while I was there but I realised that seeking answers about something that God has already given me the answer to is pretty stupid..I rile myself sometimes...the only down thing about Hollybush is that it is hard to spend any really quiet moments alone with God. I surprise myself thinking that as I love being with people and am naturally sociable..I need company but I also need to spend time on my own with Jesus and I reckon Jesus needs us on our own too. I will post more on our holidays throughout the week.
Yesterday I led our church in a meditation as Ian and Christine were still on their hols....I was nervous as usual and had tummy ache :o( is this normal???? Anyway it was really lovely..It was all about spending time in the prescence of God. We sang a bit, prayed a lot and spent a long time just sitting quietly with God, it really was lovely, lots of encouragement afterwards that it was what was needed. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to get nice warm fluffly thoughts from it but I did lol....thank you Jesus that you allow me to do these things for you.amen.
Back to work with a bang today, walked with DD (Joanne) who swore all the way to work hehe..I love her and her foul mouth to bits..it made me laugh. Nearly went under at one point cos we had a new till system installed on Friday while I was away and I kind of had to teach myself how to use them since I was the only manager in..its a good job I'm not a muppet.
Well I am sat here now craving something bad to eat but eating low fat rice pudding, not nearly as good as chocolate or cream cakes but it will have to cos tomorrow its FAT CLUB yay...if I haven't lost more than 3 pounds I'm going to sacrifice a limb.
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